COMMUNITY  ·  CULTURE  ·  WELLNESS

What It Really Means to Have a Third Space in Your City

By Dani  ·  The Mental Bar  ·  May 2026

I want to ask you something before we get into this.

When was the last time you were somewhere that wasn’t home and wasn’t work, and you actually felt like yourself?

Not “on.” Not performing. Not rushing. Not answering emails with one eye open. Just… present.

For a lot of people in San Diego, that place doesn’t exist. Or if it does, they can’t name it. They’re either at work or they’re home, and somewhere in between, they’re just scrolling in a car.

That’s the gap I built The Mental Bar to fill.

The Third Space Concept and Why It Matters Now

The idea of a “third space” has been around since sociologist Ray Oldenburg wrote about it in the ’80s. He described it as a place that isn’t your first place (home) or your second place (work) but the neutral ground where community actually happens. Think barbershops, parks, diners, bookstores.

In 2026, we need third spaces more than ever. People are lonelier than they’ve been in decades. Remote work took away the water cooler. Social media gave us connection without presence. And most “coffee shops” have become coworking spaces with oat milk.

A real third space isn’t just a place to sit. It’s a place that holds you. It knows your name. It has a culture. It reflects the community it’s in, not just a corporate aesthetic someone designed to appeal to everyone and connect with no one.

That’s what we’re building. Every single day.

What We Built and Why We Built It

When I opened The Mental Bar, people asked me why a wellness café. Why specialty coffee. Why here.

The honest answer is: because I needed it myself and it didn’t exist.

I wanted a place where you could get a beautifully made drink and actually exhale. Where the energy in the room wasn’t hustle or noise it was intention. Where the people working there actually wanted to be there and it showed. Where the community showed up, not just for coffee, but for each other.

We call it transformational hospitality. It’s not a phrase we put on a wall. It’s the standard we hold every single interaction to. Did that person leave feeling better than when they walked in? Did we see them? Did we give them something they didn’t know they needed?

Sometimes that’s a matcha affogato. Sometimes it’s a conversation. Sometimes it’s just a room that feels safe.

Community Is Not a Marketing Strategy

It’s the Business

Something I’ve learned running this business is that community doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by design. By showing up consistently. By making space for people and making that space feel like it belongs to them.

Our regulars don’t just come for the coffee. They come because they know they’ll be greeted by name. Because there’s art on the walls made by local artists that you can actually buy. Because when we host a women’s event or a community pop-up, they feel it was made for them because it was.

This is especially true for South and Southeast San Diego. Our community deserves spaces that reflect who we are. Spaces that are beautiful, intentional, and ours.

That’s not a mission statement. That’s the reason I unlock the door every morning.

Honoring AAPI Heritage Month: 5 San Diego Businesses Building Community Too

May is Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. And at TMB, we don’t just acknowledge cultural moments we lean into them. Because the same values that drive our business community, craft, intentionality, economic empowerment are values I see reflected in AAPI-owned businesses across San Diego every day.

Here are five AAPI-owned businesses in San Diego that I think deserve your support this month and honestly, every month.

1. Mostra Coffee

Filipino-founded and San Diego-born, Mostra Coffee has built something real in the specialty coffee world. Rooted in Filipino heritage and driven by a deep commitment to craft, they’ve grown to multiple locations across the city while staying anchored to their culture and community. As a specialty coffee café owner, I have deep respect for what they’ve built. Their story is proof that identity-forward businesses don’t just survive they lead.

Find them: Carmel Mountain, Mira Mesa, 4S Ranch, East Village

2. Hán Coffee Roasters

Vietnamese American-owned and based in South Park, Hán Coffee Roasters is doing something beautiful: taking Vietnamese coffee traditions and presenting them through a modern specialty lens. They’re bridging heritage and craft in a way that’s both educational and deeply personal. This is exactly the kind of storytelling-through-product that I believe in. When your culture is in your cup, people feel it.

Find them: South Park, San Diego

3. Pop Pie Co.

Founded by a Thai-American entrepreneur, Pop Pie Co. has scaled to five locations across San Diego with globally inspired savory and sweet pies. What I love about this business is the fearlessness of the concept rooted in a cultural perspective, brought to life in a format that invites everyone in. That’s the sweet spot. They didn’t shrink their vision to fit a conventional mold. They expanded the mold.

Find them: University Heights, North Park, and multiple locations across San Diego

4. Kamayan Gusto

Filipino-owned and operating as a pop-up and catering business, Kamayan Gusto specializes in kamayan-style feasts and modern Filipino cuisine. As someone who runs a catering business, I have a lot of respect for what they’re doing. Catering is hard. Doing it in a way that educates people about your culture while delivering an unforgettable experience that’s a different level. Their work is a reminder that food is one of the most powerful community-building tools we have.

Find them: San Diego pop-ups and catering events — follow them on Instagram for dates

5. Spicy Lao Kitchen

A family-run Lao restaurant in Kearny Mesa named Eater San Diego’s 2024 Best Neighborhood Restaurant, Spicy Lao Kitchen is the kind of business that makes a neighborhood. Family-operated, culturally grounded, and deeply loved by their community. There’s something about a family business that operates with that level of heart you can taste it. This is exactly the kind of establishment that deserves to be packed every single day.

Find them: Kearny Mesa, San Diego

The Bigger Picture

Supporting AAPI-owned businesses and all community-rooted small businesses isn’t just a nice thing to do during Heritage Month. It’s economic empowerment. Every dollar you spend at an independently owned business stays closer to home. It pays someone’s rent, funds someone’s dream, keeps a neighborhood’s character alive.

At The Mental Bar, we believe in building community through proximity. That means showing up for the businesses around us, amplifying voices that don’t always get the spotlight, and recognizing that when one of us grows, we all grow.

This month, go find your third space. And while you’re at it find five more businesses to support. They’re out here building something real. Just like us.

With love and intention,

Dani

Owner & Founder, The Mental Bar

Come find your third space.

Mon/Wed/Thu/Fri 8am–32pm  ·  Sat/Sun 8am–3pm

thementalbar.com  ·  @thementalbar